the past is dead and gone.
Don't try to shake it;
just nod your head.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Move on.
~Jimmy Buffet
I've been reminiscing a lot lately. These waves of nostalgia wash over me, a constant flood and a painful reminder of mistakes and unsettled situations. Usually, it starts with something small to trigger formerly fond memories. Recently, though, I snap awake every hour throughout the night, unable to fall back asleep, wishing certain arguments hadn't ocurred, wondering if an apology would change the world.
Part of me, though, thinks it's too late. The simplicity of our lives sparked the initial bond; the complications and eventual deceit shattered everything. The anger and simple bewilderment over this fractured fairy tale still lingers, though I swallow the lump and fain and smile whenever her name is mentioned.
I miss my friend.
We ate dinner at Palo, a fancy Italian restauarant, on our first evening on the ship. It's an adults-only restaurant, in which the women are required to wear dresses and the men must don a jacket and tie. This was a unique experience for me-- for us actually-- since we never eat at expensive restaurants, and we certainly don't dress up to go out to eat. However, for a mere $15.00 extra a person (all the other restaurants on board the ship are included in your booking price), we dined in a fabulous atmosphere: on the top deck of the ship with a breathtaking view of a sunset sea.
After dinner, we went back to our room to change into casual clothes. Our room host had left an adorable surprise for us-- a towel animal on the bed, which was wearing my sunglasses. Launching into full tourist mode, I insisted that Jolyon take a picture of this cuteness, and I proceeded to lie down on the bed next to the creature. Jolyon stooped down to my level to snap the photo. I laughed and looked up at him; he had a contemplative look in his eye, and he started to speak very slowly: 
I think I said something intelligent like, "oh my God, oh my God," because he had to ask me again, "So... will you?" Of course I said yes, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling myself becoming emotional. I was in a state of complete amazement, if that's even the appropriate word, and Jolyon had to ask if I wanted to put on the ring. He asked me if I recognized it, then told me it was the very first design I had said I liked, back in June, when we first started looking at rings together. He had told me that he had called the store a few weeks after the fact to see if the ring was still there, but that someone had already purchased it. I didn't think much of it, at the time, because we were still looking around... but I silently compared every other ring to that specific one. Turns out that the "someone" who had purchased that ring was him.
The rest of the cruise went by too quickly, as most vacations do, but we had an amazing time. We ate delicious food from three additional restaurants, enjoyed two broadway-style shows, danced with pirates, indulged in a midnight dessert buffet, sailed on a glass-bottom boat, explored Disney's private island on bikes, snorkled with (and touched!) tropical fish, and saw Captain Jack Sparrow from afar. And yet, we probably only tackled a quarter of the activities and excursions that Disney's cruiseline offers. It definitely won't be my last cruise, but it will certainly be the most memorable.