According to my watch, the time is now;
the past is dead and gone.
Don't try to shake it;
just nod your head.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Move on.
~Jimmy Buffet
I've been reminiscing a lot lately. These waves of nostalgia wash over me, a constant flood and a painful reminder of mistakes and unsettled situations. Usually, it starts with something small to trigger formerly fond memories. Recently, though, I snap awake every hour throughout the night, unable to fall back asleep, wishing certain arguments hadn't ocurred, wondering if an apology would change the world.
Part of me, though, thinks it's too late. The simplicity of our lives sparked the initial bond; the complications and eventual deceit shattered everything. The anger and simple bewilderment over this fractured fairy tale still lingers, though I swallow the lump and fain and smile whenever her name is mentioned.
I miss my friend.
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