Thursday, November 20, 2008

Swinging on Birches

According to my watch, the time is now;
the past is dead and gone.
Don't try to shake it;
just nod your head.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Move on.
~Jimmy Buffet

I've been reminiscing a lot lately. These waves of nostalgia wash over me, a constant flood and a painful reminder of mistakes and unsettled situations. Usually, it starts with something small to trigger formerly fond memories. Recently, though, I snap awake every hour throughout the night, unable to fall back asleep, wishing certain arguments hadn't ocurred, wondering if an apology would change the world.

Part of me, though, thinks it's too late. The simplicity of our lives sparked the initial bond; the complications and eventual deceit shattered everything. The anger and simple bewilderment over this fractured fairy tale still lingers, though I swallow the lump and fain and smile whenever her name is mentioned.

I miss my friend.


3 comments:

Nat said...

I always read your blog knowing that there is someone out there who feels as I do.

It's good to know that you are not so alone in these crazy thoughtless nights and that memories and ideas come flooding back over you..

Angela said...

I too have been reminiscing a lot lately. Maybe not about the same exact situation but similar feelings are there (and similar nocturnal tossing and turning). We will discuss soon hopefully (ahem...december 7th)

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