2009: Open Eyes and Open Heart

Hey there, 2009.

At the risk of introducing my favorite cliche (sorry, but there's really no other way to sum it up): 2008 was one heck of a roller coaster ride--the vertical climb, followed by the lets's-scream-our-head-off drop, and a dozen crazy bends and twists, culminating with a screeching halt and an easy glide to the exit zone.

Let's gloss over the highlights...

In January, I helped my best friend, at the time, cope with the ending of her marriage. I coached her through the final stages of the divorce process; she had the inner strength to get through what seemed like the end of her universe... and I made sure she realized this. In turn, she helped me reach the clarity that I had been blinded to for years: I, too, was in an unhealthy relationship, denying myself true happiness by staying with someone I knew wasn't right for me. I truly believe that my friend and I met for a reason. We were each other's crutch during our lives' turning points.

In February, I sought the help of a therapist to promote my personal growth.

In March, I confessed to Jolyon, whom I had fallen in love with in 2007, that I didn't want him to date other people, and that I certainly wouldn't be able to either, because he had enhanced my life in every possible way.

In May, Jolyon moved in with me.

In June, I started playing soccer again. This was both a blessing and a curse, as I realized that my true "glory days" were long behind me; my body simply wouldn't let me perform on the field the same way it did when I was 18.

In July, I attended Liz's wedding, the first of my childhood friends to tie the knot.

In August, I ended what had been an incredible two-year friendship with the woman I had often referred to as my sister. This was an extremely difficult move for me, mainly because I was still hurt , angry, and confused... and not completely confidant I was making the best decision by shutting her out of my life. I never would have expected her to lie to me, and I eventually accepted that our friendship would never be the same, even if I did attempt to contact her again: "We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger " (Tad Williams).

In September, Jolyon and I went on our first cruise. On our first night at sea, he asked me to marry him.

2008 will be tucked away in its own separate memory box, in case I need to reference any of the many life-lessons learned. I'm moving forward into 2009 with open eyes, an open mind, and an open heart.