Monday, January 12, 2009

Our Wedding Year

2009 marks what Jolyon has deemed our "Wedding Year."

The term is cute, despite the fact that his using it connotes his original protest to having a wedding in the first place. Having a wedding means planning that wedding, which requires effort and, more important, money. And in American culture, most weddings take a year, or longer, to plan... mainly because the couple has to reserve their ceremony and/or reception venues very far in advance. I'm looking forward to the planning aspect; as you know, I love to plan. Thus, Jolyon and I have entered our Wedding Year, in which our current effort is focused on finding the venue for our tropical destination wedding... a venue that doesn't require maxing out our credit cards, taking out a loan, or selling off the cats.

Over the weekend, I saw the movie Bride Wars. (It had been awhile since I'd seen a chick flick, so don't judge me.) While the majority of the ladies in the audience were obviously relating to the two young girls' dreams of having the "perfect" wedding at The Plaza in Manhatten, I caught myself thinking about my own childhood wedding dream in which I realized... I never had one. I must have been too busy getting grass stains on my clothes or playing whiffle ball with the neighborhood boys.

In fact, I didn't start thinking about wedding traditions or wedding details until Jolyon proposed. And even then, I didn't know what you were supposed to DO at a wedding, or what would be expected of you (I have only been to 1.5 weddings).

I started browsing through some over-priced wedding books at the book stores back in October.

Your Guide to a Picture-Perfect Wedding. (Wouldn't that depend on the individual's definition of perfection?)
How to Have Your Dream Wedding for Less Than $10,000. (People spend more than that? What the hell.)
The Ultimate Wedding Planner. (This book was heavier than my college astronomy textbook.)
Bride on a Budget. (Aren't we all on a budget?)

Needless to say, I was a bit jaded by the whole wedding idea after reading articles in some of those books. Did I say jaded? I mean overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at the thought of spending that much money on one day. Overwhelmed at the thought that somehow, for some strange out-of-character reason... I wanted to spend that much money on one day.

I feel guilty for wanting a wedding. And I'm having trouble figuring out the origin of this guilt... and the last thing I want is to feel a guilted weight as we plan this milestone day. Maybe it's because I know Jolyon doesn't want a wedding; he would kiss my feet and carry me directly to City Hall tomorrow morning if I let him. Maybe it's because my parents have offered us a large sum of money to pay for the wedding in a sub-par economy. Or maybe it's because I'm more traditional than I'd pegged myself to be. My original desire to have a casual beach wedding keeps getting distracted by magazine articles, bridal shows, and wedding websites. Ok, Wedding Industry. I give. What else do you want to throw my way before I decide that maybe Jolyon's suggestion to elope ain't so bad?

The wedding industry plays a mean little game with us brides-to-be. For example, I found this pretty spectacular-seeming location in Captiva Island: South Seas Island Beach Resort. They claim they can work with "any budget" and can "customize" most "packages." And, of course, they plaster their site with beautiful pictures and venues, appealing to my easily-persuaded emotional side. Naturally, I got excited, like the thousands of brides before me, I'm sure... until my requested information packet arrived via email, in which their per person price for the reception dinners was $200 each. For that kind of money, the food better be served on solid gold plates by the hands of Jesus himself.

I did, however (thanks to my stepfather's research), find a quaint beach inn, also located on Captiva Island: 'Tween Waters Inn. The location and amenities for an informal beach wedding seem almost too perfect, and their reasonable prices equally so. Perhaps their prices are cheaper than the other locations on Captiva Island because at this resort, you have to deal with a sales manager who speaks and writes in vague brevity, and from the reviews I've read, treats the brides as part of a wedding factory: several weddings per day with no special attention paid to the bride and groom. For her, it's truly "strictly business."

Truly, if the location is right for us, and is within our budget, I don't care if she doesn't become my pal. I read some positive reviews as well, though I suppose I will form my own opinion after Jolyon and I see this resort in person on the 31st. I've always wanted to venture to Captiva Island, so even if 'Tween Waters turns out not to be the location for us, it will be fun to see a different part of Florida.

2 comments:

Noah G said...

The whole process is crazy, huh? The thing to remember is that if you do this right, you only do it once. So, have fun and try not to be overwhelmed. I think that Erin and I have picked a date and place, but I'll let her give you the specifics of that since that's a "girl thing."

:) I hope the place is truly amazing when you go on the 31st.

Jane B. said...

You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting a wedding! I hardly think you're likely to turn into bridezilla; it's entirely normal to want a ceremony, so just relax and enjoy the process my friend!