The Last Letdown

I can't believe I actually trusted that Luke would be true to his word. I spent the latter half of our relationship asking him to do simple tasks for me, which he would ultimately forget to do. He was always "too busy" or he "lost track of time"... and many times he had simply forgotten I had even asked him.

I'm happy that I decided to text Luke and let him know, out of the generosity of my heart, that I had a doctor's appointment Saturday morning after I worked a few hours, and that I wouldn't be around the apartment until after 1pm to help him move out.

His response? He has to work on Saturday.

I'm sorry. I missed the part where that's my problem.

We agreed that this would be the weekend he would have his belongings out. He's had almost two weeks to prepare, whether it meant getting a moving truck for some of his larger pieces of furniture, or simply coming by the apartment and pack up his stuff. I offered to help do whatever he needed, and since I haven't heard from him, I assumed he was good to go.

When I read his response on my phone, I was floored. He could have at least had the courtesy to let me know. I have been looking forward to this day in a I'm-dreading-this-day-but-it-will-only-get-better-from-here type of way.

We shot a few texts back and forth. One in particular mentioned that he was sorry and that "work has really sucked this week."

Wow, Luke.

It really "sucked" that you ended our 6- year relationship, assuming in a "perfect world" that we would co-exist as roommates. It really "sucked" that you made me doubt myself as a woman, which has thrust me into therapy. It really "sucked" that I became so stressed out that I wound up in the ER and a $160.00 medical bill. And it really sucked that you never fixed my car brakes like you promised, the result of which I'm noticing now and will have to fix on my own to avoid getting killed.

But, hey, your week at work has really sucked, too. No hard feelings, 'k?

I ended up calling him, because my anger was making my hands shake and I couldn't text anymore. He picked up the phone. I asked him why he didn't tell me he had to work, when we had previously agreed that he would move out this weekend.

"I didn't know my schedule was going to change."

Really? They usually give you a week's notice.

"Yeah, I guess I found out last week."

I responded with the next thing that blurted out of my mouth: "You should have told me. I have someone moving in on Sunday, and I need you out." (A little white lie to expedite his lazy ass moving out really doesn't phase me right now.)

He got irritated that I didn't tell him that I had found a roommate. Not really his business, and since I didn't hear from him, I assumed we were still a go for Saturday. He stated he would do what he could to get out this weekend... said he had to get a moving truck for his bed and other items. Said he had a storage unit rented already.

I simply repeated, "I need you out this weekend. Take a sick day from work. Do what you have to do, or I wil just start putting your stuff outside the apartment." Obviously, he can probably call my bluff on that one... I'm still too nice of a person to just scatter his things outside.

When we hung up, I felt a bit of rage taking over. I channeled it by rummaging through all the cupboards and cabinets, taking items tainted with Luke and tossing them into his room. I went through the storage cabinet on the porch and cleansed that of Luke germs as well.

In one of the storage bins, I found a book titled Sex Games. I'd never seen the book before, but after flipping through it, some of the pictures looked intriguing. I figured the book belonged to Luke- perhaps he needed to reference it now and then. If he did, I never saw the results. The book is now in my nightstand drawer. Spiteful? You bet.

I'm infuriated that he has let me down again. I'm frustrated with myself for believing he would follow through with the agreed deadline, when he has let me down many times in the past. And ultimately, I'm just disappointed. Yet again, my expectations were set too high for him.

And just so that it doesn't appear that I am being a cold-hearted bitch: had Luke called me and explained, like a big boy, that he was being forced to work on his day off, I would have told him that it's no problem if he moves later in the week. It's the sheer lack of consideration that floors me and causes me to react like this. Trust me, when you deal with a lazy man for as long as I have put up with him, there comes a point where your ugly side has to take control and take action.

I needed to get this out, so that when I meet him at the bank tomorrow afternoon, I don't smack him in the face.