Ways To Heal The Heart

From one of the books I am reading.....

~ Go on an adventure, even if just for a day. Take the time to create a new experience for yourself, to experience yourself in a new way.

~ Grieving doesn't mean being down all the time. Do things that will lift your spirits; be around others who are having a good time.

~ Tell your story of the break-up to each of your friends, one by one. Each time you tell it, you will be healing a new layer of pain and opening yourself up to more love.

~ Write a forgiveness letter, forgiving him for every mistake you can remember.

~ Write an apology letter, acknowledging every mistake you think you made during the course of the relationship.

~ Take the time to listen to the stories of others who have lost love. By putting yourself in their shoes, you experience that you are not alone. Your loneliness becomes less.

~ Go somewhere new and meet new people. New experiences always bring out something new within ourselves.

~ Reach out and ask for the support of your friends. Ask them to invite you to dinner. If they seem to be avoiding you, it's because they don't know what to say or how to act. They would love to know what they could do for you.

~ Don't rush the healing process. Plan to be in the grieving process 3-6 months.

~ Count your blessings. Often, when we are grieving a loss, we forget to appreciate what we do have.

~ Be patient with yourself. Instead of getting frustrated with yourself when you experience a setback, reward yourself with a treat.

~ Give yourself permission to feel that life isn't fair. Reflect on the dreams and goals you had hoped to share together. Feel your disappointment and write a letter expressing those feelings.

~ Don't try to be "up" and in a good mood for your friends. Give yourself permission to hit bottom. It is only by accepting the waves of grief that you will heal your heart. By respecting the healing process, the pain will go away completely and permanently. True friends will support you.

~ If you feel a need to get away to heal yourself, take some vacation leave from your job as soon as possible. Your boss and co-workers should understand.

~ Repeat to yourself, "I will get through this." Remember that others have been through it. You are not alone. Soon the pain will be gone.

~ Ask a friend to come over just to hang out. Let him or her know that he doesn't have to say or do anything. Practice just being together. Go for a walk or sit and watch the sunset or moonrise. The peace you feel will comfort your soul.

~ Give yourself permission to be like a child. If your loss brings up unresolved issues of the past, go to the zoo or a fun theme park with a friend or family member.

~Go to church and pray to God. Share your deepest feelings of inadequacy.

~ Put yourself first. This is your time to be pampered. Release any obligations that are making your life crazy or causing you more stress than you can handle right now. You are grieving a loss and have other things you need to do right now.

~ Don't hold back your tears. It is okay to cry; crying is good for the soul.

~ Sit with someone while you are in pain, without saying a word. This can be very comforting. Sometimes, in our darkest hours, we just need a loving presence nearby.